(no subject)

"Fated to pretend"
I've been trying to forge on with things after the awfull end to last week and put my mind on other things rather then dwell.

Last week among everything that has happened last week I started to think about this flat. I know I complain about it and it has a lot of problems, but I do love the place. Three years it got to the point where I never thought I'd be able to get my own place and it was putting serious strain on the relationship between my parents and myself.

It's a fact that I only do something radical when i'm really angry. At this point I was all ready to move out into a freinds place and I was staying angry with my folks in order to get something done and shake up the status quo. In the end we all made up, with the proviso that I still wanted to move out and not sit on my laurels. At the time this flat was perfect and everything I needed, and it represented quite a leap for me in that I got wise in a lot of ways and worked towards keeping my own place. I'll miss it in a lot of ways.

That being said.

The new flat is looking really awsome...

The piles of rubbish have been cleared, the walls had paint tickled on them and then a proper coat put on by my dad. The place has been scrubbed down by Iffriel and my Mum. Tonight my dad put up some, admitedly, cheap blinds on the front two rooms and it looks amazing! I wish we had thought to put up before and after pictures.

Seriously, if the landlord had done the simple work that was required and done some very cheap additions such as the blinds he could be renting the place out for as much as £200 more then he is doing. I guess we profit from other peoples laziness and tight wallets.

I am not having fun at work but that's another story for another day. Maybe tommorow.

Fuck yeah Larfleeze!

While I don't like airing dirty laundry I've got to the point where I need to get a few things out of my system regarding an argument I had with my parents on Thursday. It was seriously strange and also odd that we also seem to have an argument around this time of year, particuarly my Mums birthday. I'd like to put it down to her disliking the thought of being another year older but It's nowhere near that simple.

It's really weird and as usuall a tangled mess of previous discussions, simple talks and their opinions dating back as far as two months ago.

Weirdly when I arrived she was at my aunts around the corner and I got invited over. I don't particualy like going over to her place because it's usually pointless as anyone else, myself in particular, gets very much sidelined if they are both together. Coupled with the fact that she's think and is really giving my cousin a crap start in life by being in my humble opinion, a shit parent. I'm not keen to say the least, but I went over and it was fine. Eventually got back home and she cooked me two omlettes and then, and only then did the akward silence in the living room and my decision to leave. Then she went batshit crazy and locked the door insisiting we had a "discusion". Is it just me or is that a little bit weird?

A week and a bit before I went to AC we went for a meal and a drink and had a really good time. It'd odd because when we get along we really do have fun, only each time this happens I'm less inclined to do it because weeks maybe months later she will have picked over everything I said, using it at the first time of trouble to back up any complaints she may have had about me.Once again I forget about it and trust her enough to share something even trivial about myself and then once again I'm left wishing I hadn't when she twists and turns it into her head into something she can use as amunition, even more effective because I can't deny that I said it, be it in a less messed up way. This time it was a throw away disscussion about maybe finding another place or moving away. Without a job it's been a little difficult on both fronts, although she dosn't know this. In what little of the bollocking I stuck around for she was going on about me not doing anything. Thursday was no different with her insisting I was looking for something better and using anything and everything I'd discussed or talked about with her on this fun outing into something nasty to make me look bad.

Another issue that was brought up was me "not letting them be a part of my life". I'm seriously stumped over this one. I go out to dinner and such with them, I come over and watch TV or play games and bar a few tweaked details to edit out the more furry or stranger parts of my life I pretty much talk about everything that goes on in my life much more then I ever did as a teenager. We even went to the theatre before I went away. Apart from this the only other parts of my life would be any job I currently have, going out with freinds and being at home. I'm not sure what other part of my life she want's to be a part of. True I've not invited her around to the apartment but as you will see in this post there is a multitude of reasons for that. Simply put it's a combination of it being eisier to go around to theirs rather then getting them all around here and the fact that this is my space where I can be myself and it puts me on edge if they are here! I'm very confused when she says I don't let her be a a part of my life.

When I arrived back I tried calling them a few times and every time I left a message, it wouldn't be returned or we would share a few curt words and that would be that. I was already getting seriously bad vibes and left it as long as possible before goign on Thurday because I couldn't fathom what the hell was going on. Anyway she completely denied any of these calls flat out and insisted I had not contacted anyone. Then, she tells me she didn't call back because of not contacting me and not wanting to confront me about not contacting them. Yeah, that is as weird as that. I can't work this out at all.

For some reason she brought up something about us not being close because of "the whole gay thing". I had to openly laugh at this one, at the meal we had a week or so before leaving for the USA she flat out told me that the issues she had with Iffriel or myself were nothing to do with the fact that I was gay. I'm serious she said it as simply and un-ambigusouly as that. Where this came from or what it had to do with anything still confuses me.

I'll give them a few points for free in this argument. Firstly my dad asked me if the thing we have up in the kitchen is funny to us or some sort of trophy. The thing in the kitchen is a framed letter from our landlord asking us politely to not be so loud with the sex noises in the early hours of the morning, and yes I do think it's funny. It's just my sense of humour although I should have known they wouldn't find it so funny. Again I will remind you I explicitly asked them not to come to the apartment while I was away. Thanks god I securely covered over the more explicit furry art in the bedroom or they would have shit blood. Secondly, there were a few plates in the sink when we left but nothing seriously dirty and not the mountain they are making out. Thirdly, apparently the fridge was smelly and a little moldy. I had turned it off with nothing inside and did not know that simply water would cause anything like that, oh and the jar of odd food ends in the hallway was meant to be thrown out when we left and was forgotten about.

However the rest of the apartment was imaculate, baring anything that had happened in the week we had been away. For some reason my parents think I live in complete shit hole and can't take care of myself in cases of hygeine. One particular incident that gets trotted out as either a funny story or evidence in a bollocking is when I moved out for the first time and left a bowl of rice in the fridge and forgot about it, letting it dry out. It was one occasion but it's always made out to be far worse then it was and if you believe them there was always something dry or rotting in that fridge. This is bollocks, although the paintwork and a few areas of the apartment could do with sprucing up the place is ver very clean. On this occasion I know for a fact it was because I had cleaned and tidied the place before we left, cleaned out the rats, cleaned the blinds which needed doing, threw some furniture out, even scrubbed the bloody skirting boards. I'm not kidding it was a week and a half of pulling everything out, cleaning and scrubbing and shake-and-fucking-vacing but still I get told that apparently they think "my hygene has slipped over the last three years" and it was heavily implied I live in a hovel. Fuck that! Before we left it was the cleanest it has ever been.

The only thing that would have been a little ripe were the rats, which had been left for a week and a half in hot weather. Usually they would have been cleaned out before this but I was in the USA. They were however, cleaned on the Thursday we got back. My mum runs a cleaning company so it might have something to do with her massively unrealistic version of clean rather then my place in particular. In some weird twisted turn the fact that I had long uncut hair for a while this year when I was trying to grow it. Apparently I'm trying to recapture some long lost youth or have a late rearing of teen rebellion according to them but apparently it pissed them off that I had long hair and was "constantly" unshaven. Again, bullshit and a total non issue seen as I have now cut it as I myself, didn't like the end product of growing it. Apparently the toilet was "full of shit" and had to be unblocked, but I did not leave it like that so it's a mystery to me. Why would I leave a toilet overflowing with shit when jetting of for ten days?

Oh god, I've just remembered the best bit. For some reasons with the bit above, and me not letting them into my life, I hate my sister. That is a big leap. I seriously told them that was not the reason I hate my sister and that it's because she's a hard faced, mean bitch. I really try in this respect but she asks constantly aloof all the time as if I'm a total shit and I have no idea why. It's not just normal brother and sister rivalry, she will not talk back to me when I ask her direct questions, gives one word answers and always acts as if I'm trying to catch her out. It's really difficult and that coupled with other incidents makes me really hate her, it's simply not worth the effort! The constant shrugging, disinterest and wrinkled noses really gets my goat, so fuck that! Apparently she was the only person who stuck up for me when I "came out" and for that reason I should like her, that was four years ago and she's been a shit for years. My parents really don't see this, I'm not kidding they looked really genuinely shocked when I listed the reasons and incidents as if I was making it all up!

Anyway, the end result was me getting pissed off very quickly and not wanting to be drawn into a long disucssion/bollocking on the state of my life or it's direction or the underlying shame and dissapointment they seem to have in me. Another thing I'm worried about is that they are going on holiday tommorow and one of two things will happen. Firstly that my mum will say she is too stressed out by the whole situation and refuse to go on holiday in which case the whole cancellation will be blamed on me and I won't ever, ever hear the last of it. Secondly and more probable, that they both go on the holiday but she has a shit time, again she will blame this on being too stressed out about the whole "situation" regarding me and I'll never hear the bloody end of it.

Try and untangle that.

Surfing The Void
Always loved the Klaxons image, and the bands get up for this weeks NME cover is no exception. Totally rocking the space-age shaman look. I wish I could pull off something like that!

two posts
...I should be making right now but the wind has gone out of my sails.

I really, really miss Oak already

Anthrocon 2010-The Bad
The Bad

This was a triumph
Jesus! I love all you guys, but we really, honest to god, need some new references. I think by now we have all gathered that the cake was, unfortunately a lie and that some people in certain circumstances some individuals are unable to enjoy their bread based snack food item, and repeating these and other references does not make for good comedy!

The thing is, even the official comedians at AC were doing these lazy references just to get a few quick laughs. I have other problems with the comedians but that will come later.

You wanna go biggie?
Last year it seemed like there was a lot of bang for your buck, everyone seemed to do meaty events with a lot of substance to them and in many instances even over running for a while. For example, Last years whose lion went way into the early hours and most of the entertainers with the later slots overran because they had the room and no conflicts with scheduling. However this year everyone seemed to be in a big rush to leave all the time, 2's rant was very short, Jibba had barely said hello and did at the very most 40 minutes and the Kage and 2 extra show was at least fifteen minutes short and much of it was spent fumbling about.

The suggestion that the 2 and Kage show be upped to $20 a pop next year seemed faintly ridiculous owing to it's short run time this year and even though it was for charity, smacked a little of money grabbing.

I know it's not a big thing but it just seemed like everyone was being shortchanged a lot this year, even the opening ceremonies didn't seem as flash or as substantial as AC 2009.

Also a small niggle, but Whose Lion Is It Anyway was in a terrible room on Saturday and would have benefited from being in it's usuall larger room in the DLCC

Shake that ass, watch yourself!
Again, this isn't down to the AC organizers themselves but simply the people taking part, although I'm sure it could be regulated more. The Fursuit dance competition was very repetitive. Out of the ten or so participants over 8 of them were either variants of body popping routines or break-dancing with very little to distinguish between them. When someone did dare do something different, such as the bunny doing the Bangladeshi Fan Dance, it seemed instantly radical but unfortunately got little to no praise from the judges. Needless to say the dullest body popping routine eventually won first place. I know that this is down to people taste in music but couldn't the organizers make sure there is a bit more of a variation in the dances people choose? I can see myself giving it one last chance next year to see if it changes and that's it.

"Here we are now, entertain us"
Did you know that Black people and White people are culturally different? Funny stuff! Last year Jibba's set was pant wettingly funny, this year he seemed to coast along on the differences between black and white people as well as a seriously unfunny tirade on Mexicans that boiled down to the fact that they shouldn't have equal rights to him, seen as his people had to spend so long getting them. I love offensive and edgy comedy but even I was really shocked and offended by this. I've heard a lot of people defend this as just being edgy, but believe me if you were there, it really wasn't!

I've always been a lover of 2 ever since I saw his "Do your Job" rant when I first got into the fandom and even when other people started going against him for the sake of it, I stuck by him. I saw him in 2007 during his self confessed "drunk stage" and he was awesome. At AC 2009 after he had cleaned up some he was even better and more sharp and brutal then ever, brilliant!

2010? A great start and the "gay relationship" stuff was right on the button and something I could relate to but then he got onto gay marriage and the set took a very steep generic nosedive! The part about marriage being about procreation and therefore sterile couples marriges should be annulled is something I have heard from other comedians a thousand times before and is so old Noah probably had it on a stone tablet on the ark! really disappointing from someone who seemed so invigorated last year.

The less said about JR the better, seriously forced and unfunny!

I'm really of the opinion that as a fandom, and especially with the largest and best furry con in the world, we should be promotiing new talent rather then the same old four or five names (Kage, Jibba, 2, Bucktown etc etc). For example, why was the brilliant Matthew Ebert on during a saturday afternoon when people were busy buying porn and comics? I'm not sure if this is AC or the fandom as a wholes point but some more variety and new faces need to come into the scene.

Moving to Westin

Moving into the Westin today, will be putting a sign up on the board with room number! get in touch if you want to meet up!


Dr Who inspires home decor

Bad Dudes VS Dragon Ninja
A random-ish trawl across ebay has yet again thrown up more amazing goodies. Despite my ongoing quest to fill up my flat with childish crap I bet I'm not alone in thinking that having your own Arcade Machine would be pretty dammn cool!

So everyso often I have a look for a cheap one that's not too far away. Today I found one with the brilliantly titled Bad Dudes VS Dragon Ninjas

Dammn the space this is TOO cool!


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